Is this a hint?

So, a few Christmases ago, my cousin gave various people, including me, star sign mugs. I'm sure you can imagine the kind of thing: an image of their star sign, and a list of the attributes that the start sign is said to confer. Having read my mug, I got the feeling that it wasn't manufactured by native speakers of English. My cousin swears she wan't trying to make a point -- that she hadn't actually read the actual attributes associated with Saggitarians. Honest. Optimistic. Enthusiastic. Good humoured. Intellectual. Jovial. And tactless.

Hmmm....

Gmail's "Intelligent" advert suggestions...

I'm sure many of us have heard, or heard concerns, about Google scanning mail in order to target adverts.

Over the last few days, I've seen evidence that something about this mechanism is getting weirder / wilder / whackier.

This morning, alongside an email about travel arrangements for a croquet tournament in Glasgow, it offered me an advert for kittens for sale. Maybe it perceived a potential to build on an interest in chasing balls around.

A couple of days before that, at the top of my "in box" listing, it offered me a curious cardboard tube that allows women to wee standing up. Now, I can see this is the sort of thing that any woman might be interested in. But why tell me? Was I being prompted to consider it as an unusual Christmas present? Or given that one cannot engage with a health-conscious, independent modern woman by whipping out a cigarette lighter or offering a handkerchief, is this the kind of accessory every well-prepared gentleman about town ought to carry? Or is it just that Google doesn't think email content analysis is up to discerning the recipient's sex?

Weirdest of all, though, was when it showed me an advert for Toop Exhumation Services, along side emails about an HCI conference. Not once, but twice. Now, OK, the second one was an email acknowledging by attempt to unsubscribe from their mailing list, which I suppose has a vague sense of "ending" about it. But basically, I thought, if that's the state of the art of intelligent advert selection based on scanning my email...

But then I went on to think about appropriate cues for presenting an advert like that, I began to see the incident as a symptom of what is deeply wrong with our modern "e-mediated" lives.

You see, I don't believe there is a sensible answer to the question "what kind of email content would suggest an interest in an exhumation company?"

And because of that, I don't understand is why an exhumation company is advertising on Google at all.

OK, I confess I have only a rough idea what an "exhumation company" does, and I'm sure there are lots of subtle details that could distinguish one company from another. But why do they advertise to the public?

I can see that from time to time the Police, or the Coroner's office, will need companies to do exhumations. But surely there can't be more than maybe 100 people in the whole of Britain who are actively involved in arranging them. Can there? So exhumations is a market dominated by specialist buyers. And it is probably not a market that is hugely price sensitive --- I suspect that official bodies will pay "whatever it costs" to get the job done properly and sensitvely.

But I also guess they have some kind of tendering process and approved supplier lists and what not.

So why are these people spending money on advertising to the general public?

They are surely not expecting impulse buyers: "Your mail mentioning Aunt Agnes makes me realise how much I've missed her. It's a shame we haven't got more photos of her. Oh! Here! I know..."

I assume this does not happen.

Exhumation service is not obviously a business that has much scope for increasing its overall market size: it doesn't rank high on many people's list of "discretionary expenditure".

So are they just building general "brand awareness"? When the police come to you and say "new evidence suggests your father was murdered, and we're going to have to examine his body", you won't just settle for any exhumation company! Oh no! You know who you want...

So are they really trying to ensure that "everyone in Britain" knows their name, just in case they are ever involved in an exhumation? Or are they trying to reach a few dozen professional commissioners-of-exhumations by advertising to "everyone in Britain".

Neither of these would be a sensible basis for a conventional advertising campaign: the costs involved would render it completely un-economic. But on-line, it seems, the costs are so low that there is no obstacle. Anyone can afford to clamour for our attention, no matter how in-efficiently. And we're left to live our lives amid the resulting cacophony.

The culture that put adverts on the back of bus tickets is now scribbling in the margins of our mail.

It's enough to make you want to buy a cat! Oh... what's that written on its collar?

The trains we deserve 2

Last week, I took the train through to Glasgow for the evening.

I arrived at Haymarket station at just after 10 past six, and went to buy a ticket.

"Do you want to travel on the 6:18" asks the woman in the ticket office "or wait for the 6:33, when you'll be able to use a cheap day return, which is £7 cheaper".

I had time in hand, and getting paid nearly £30/hour to sit and read at Haymarket, rather than in Glasgow, seemed a good deal. So I bought the cheap ticket and set out for the cafe...

Only to be stopped by the ticket barrier: because my cheap ticket wasn't valid on the 6:18, I wasn't even allowed onto the platform until after it had left! So I couldn't sit in the station cafe to read. In fact, I couldn't sit anywhere: there are no facilities of any kind outside the ticket barriers - not even a bench to sit on. So I had to just stand in the ticket office for 8 minutes until the guy manning the barrier realised that the earlier train had gone, and let me onto the platform.

Since Margaret Thatcher has left us a railway system dedicated to maximising ticket revenue, having to pay more to travel on certain trains is what I have come to expect. But preventing access to seats and the waiting area seems to be taking things too far. Presumably they are doing this to stop people sneaking onto the wrong trains. Which would not, of course, be a problem if they were going to check the passengers tickets.

So rather than have enough staff to enforce the complicated ticket restrictions that they have chosen to impose, they force passengers (i.e. their customers) to literally stand around in doorways until they can be trusted to go near the trains.

Customer Service, Scotrail 2008 style...

Robert.

XDA / Windows Mobiles Woes 5

I had to do (yet) another re-boot on my XDA Orbit the other day.

Because I couldn't turn the radio off. The software application for
the radio became unresponsive. But even when I killed it, the
radio continued playing!

Really impressive.

Robert.

Windows Mobile Woes 4

The O2 XDA Pilot has a built-in FM radio, and I have just
used it to listen to a program.

No problem... until the program finished and I tried to turn
off the radio... and find that the FM Radio application is completely
unresponsive. I can't turn it off.

Fiddle, poke. Nothing. So I go to the list of running applications (so
easily found, under Settings / System / Memory / Running programs),
find the "FM Radio" and "Stop" it. Silence. Fine. Back to work.

Until a couple of minutes later, when the radio comes back on!

So it's back to the XDA and try to start the "FM Radio" application.
It won't start... but the sound stops!

Great. Just great! Back to work.

Until a couple of minutes later, when the radio comes back on AGAIN!

Try again. Same thing happens.

Bang head on table. Doesn't help.

Time for reset number 3, it seems.

Robert.

Windows Mobile Woes 3

Now, I've had my second forced reset since upgrading to WM 6.

The other day I turned on my XDA Pilot and found that the left-hand
side of the screen was not touch sensitive. The device was locked,
and was displaying the big numeric keypad for me to enter my PIN.
The buttons on the right-hand side of the screen entered characters.
Those on the left did nothing. And nor did the "unlock" button (also
on the left). Which was a bit terminal, really.

So I was down to poking the reset button.

After the reset, everything was fine. So, no hardware problem...

So, that's two resets in just on six weeks. Suggesting that WM6 is
in fact no better than WM5.

Robert.

The trains we deserve?

I went (from Edinburgh) to London last weekend, for the first time in a while.

There are always people ready to criticise the trains in Britain --- usually, I think, unfairly.
But once again, I was left with the impression that Britain has a rail network run by accountants who invariably travel by car.

How else could we get the situation where passengers cannot board the train until just a couple of minutes before it departs. So if you're on the station early (something one would think they'd want to encourage), you can't get yourself comfortable in your seat and wait. Instead, you have to hang around the station concourse until they display the platform number, and then join a throng of other passengers hurrying to the train.

Now, you might think that having pre-booked seats would mean this was not a problem. What does matter if there are other people heading for the train, if you can be sure that you seat will be there even if you arrive at the last minute?

Well, it matters if you have got a large bag with you. Which means it matters to a significant proportion of the people who travel at weekends and holiday times. Because each carriage has
something like three quarters of the baggage space required by when the train is busy. Presumably this lets them increase the number of seats, and therefore improve the "efficiency" of the service. But it means that while the first people onto the train can stow their bags and cases easily on the racks at the ends of the carriage, those who come later don't have that luxury, and some people have no choice but to just leave their bags in the gangway. Where they get in the way of everybody else. Including the tea trolley, which often cannot operate when the train is full.

The same sort of thinking shows up in the buffet car. The new designs have space for only one member of staff behind the counter, which of course, limits how quickly people can get served. They have also reduced the amount of display space, so that people are more likely to spend time asking about what is and isn't available. Which means that a queue quickly appears --- an eventually the carriage designers appear not to have envisaged, since there is nowhere for it to go. Two or three people can wait in the area of the counter, but anyone over that has to stand in (and block) the passage through the middle of the coach.

On a long journey, it's nice to be able to get up and stretch your legs, and maybe get a nice fresh cup of tea or a hot snack. Doing this on a car journey will add at least a quarter of an hour to the journey time. It should be one of the advantages of going by rail. But it is one that is minimised by coach designs that mean you have to clamber past other people's luggage and then stand in an aisle for several minutes while one member of staff rushes to deal with a sizeable queue.

What a way to run a railway...

Robert.

Windows Mobile Woes 2

Now, I've had my first forced "Reset" since the upgrade to WM6.

I tried using the XDA to access the Internet via the Wireless Internet
service on the train to London. Connecting was painless: I turned on
Wireless LAN, then told it to list available networks, found the once
for the train and away it went. No problem. Until I tried to turn
the WIreless Internet back OFF again. By analogy with the phone and
GPRS connections, I tried tapping on the little WiFi icon in the
status bar. And up popped a likely looking window, with a link to
control the Wifi connection. Except that the link was to turn wifi
ON. Despite the fact that it was already on. I looked on every
half-plausible menu and "Settings" panel, but could find no trace of
an option to turn off the Wifi. So in the end I had to just reset the
stupid thing.

Great, eh. Well, I guess it did go almost a month without needing to be
reset, so I WM 6 does still seem to have an edge over WM 5, for
reliability at least.

Robert.

Windows Mobile Woes 1

Last year (2007) I switched from using a Palm OS device to using a phone that ran Windows Mobile 5.

Specifically, I got an O2 "XDA Orbit". It seemed a really neat bit of kit - small (it didn't have a too-small-to-use keyboard to clutter my pocket) but with all kinds of connectivity (bluetooth, wi fi, and GPS) built in.

The experience was, well, horrible. So many aspects of the system and its "core" apps (by which I mean diary, contacts, phones...) seemed so poorly designed and unreliable. I'll no doubt write something about it at some point, but basically the one-sentence summary would be that whereas in something like four years of using a Palm OS device I had had to use the reset button twice, the Windows Mobile device had to be reset every couple of weeks.

So when I learnt that there was an upgrade to WM6 available, I thought I'd give it a go.

The most awful discovery was that it was hardly any better.

OK, I've been running it for three weeks now and, apart from when I have been installing software, I haven't had to hit "reset". So that's progress of a sort, I guess.

I won't attempt any kind of comprehensive summary of the things that have disappointed me, because I'll never actually post it. Rather I've put a "1" in the title, and listed what comes to mind right now...

• I use the "Block Recogniser" system for character input, which involves writing into a pop-up space that appears at the bottom when the system is expecting you to type/write. Except that in WM6 it quite often it doesn't actually appear when I select a type-in field: I have to explicitly call it up...


• Phone numbers in the call history are not selectable as text, so it's not possible to cut-and-paste them into a "Contacts" record. There is an option to "Add to contacts", which creates a new "Contact" entry for the number, associated with "Unknown Caller". But there isn't an "Add to existing contact" option. So if an existing contact calls from a new number (say, a new mobile), the procedure is
  1. Add the number to contacts
  2. Select/copy the phone number
  3. Save the new contact entry
  4. Find their existing contact entry
  5. Paste the new number into place
  6. Save the edited contact entry
  7. Find the newly created contact entry
  8. Delete the newly created contact entry.
  Easy, huh. Or, of course, you can just copy the number on a scrap of paper and then edit the contact entry and add it. That's what technology is for.
  
• There is an awesome lack of linkage between the "core apps". When you get a text message, it will automatically look up the number that sent it in the address book, display the message as "From" that person, and give you a button to immediately "Reply" by text message. You want to phone them about the message? Ah! Well, you have to go to the "Contacts" application, search for the sender (that's right, by typing/writing the name you just saw on the text message), select their mobile phone number and then select "Call".
  

And I'm also aghast to see they've introduced the most howling bug into the "Tasks" system: it will no longer display only "active" tasks. By which I mean it is no longer possible to hide tasks that have not yet reached their start date. There is still an option to show only "active" tasks, it is just that ticking it doesn't actually make any difference to how the system behaves. It still knows about active --- the "Today" screen will cheerfully and correctly tell me that I have, say, 12 active tasks. But when I go to the tasks list, it shows me all my tasks. Including a reminder to do my tax return next September --- 6 months before I can sensibly even start it! Which completely cripples what was, for me, the only application that Windows Mobile did better than a Palm.

Masterful.

It is obviously disappointing (or alarming) that such a howling bug got through Microsoft's quality control and pre-release testing. It would be nice to think that one could buy (or commit to use) a mainstream package from the world's largest software company without having to check whether the basic operations actually work.

It is equally, but more subtly, disappointing that none of the reviews of WM 6 that I saw picked up on it. Presumably they just looked at what it claims to do and reviewed how it tries to do it, and just assumed that it did actually do what it said it would.

Sigh.

Robert.

To Post, Or Not To Post

Well, OK, I've got the blog thing. Now I have to post something.

I started out by deciding to delay my first "real" posting until I had something sensible to say.

With the predictable result that I simply posted nothing at all. Which pretty well defeated the whole point of having a blog at all.

So finally, I decided to post this. A kind of introduction. A trailer for all the great things you're going to read about here.

I spend a lot of time doing stuff with computers. Indeed, I enjoy it. And I even admit that I enjoy it. Which must, I guess, make me a Geek or a Nerd, or some such. Though I'm not enough of either to worry about which.

In the light of that, there is no doubt that a high proportion of the stuff that turns up here will be IT-related.

Indeed, one of the things that goaded me into starting this thing was my experience with changing PDA. Last year (2007), I moved from using a Palm OS device (a Handera 330) to a Windows Mobile device (O2 Orbit). The experience was more unpleasant than I could have believed, and I felt I had to vent my spleen and share the pain. I didn't, and the urge subsided. To be re-awakened when I upgraded the Orbit to WM 6...

I also care about the environment, and yearn for a soap box from which to rail against most people's hypocrisy: "I'll do anything to protect the environment --- provided it doesn't inconvenience me or mean I have to miss out on anything good."

I also have a couple of less-than-common hobbies. In particular, I play taiko (Japanese drums), and croquet.

Right. I'll stop there. Not because I've said anything significant, but because I've got to stop somewhere, and I've done enough to satisfy the real reason for posting this: namely, that now I've posted something -- albeit something pretty banal -- I can post other things on a "business as usual basis".

Oh, the stresses of authorship...

Robert.

Two. Two One TWO. Two.

I'm not even aiming to say anything interesting in this post, just make sure that things are actually working the way I expect.

The blogospheric equivalent of tapping the microphone and shouting yelling "Is this thing on?"

Then a pause, while I rush out into the audience to check for myself...